I got fired!

And I couldn't be happier!

To cut a long story short, I'm overjoyed because today I was terminated as a result of a personal correspondence about company possibilities to a fellow employee. Yup, my boss rifled through my coworker's personal e-mail and decided based on an e-mail I sent to my coworker to fire us both. I think he might fire the third employee as well (yes, he only has three employees).

I'm thinking of writing a new song that came to me as I was driving home, with the lightest heart I've had since the day I started working there (the tempo is extremely fast):


"I try to kill rats in a shinking ship,
but all I manage is one more chip
off a hull already damaged by the storm/

Never mind the gail and the wind outside,
these rats bastards had better die
I'll ignore the fact their running for the door/

Another hole in the floor won't matter much
I'll show these rats that I won't budge
They're only running because they know I'll win!/

I've never seen rats quite like these,
they patch the holes then beg and plead
to help me, but I'll show 'em I'm Captain!/

Try to kill rats in a shinking ship,
the craft shudders and starts to dip
beneath the waves, perhaps this time I'm wrong?

Never mind the water up to my neck
I'm captain still and don't mind the wet,
someday They'll say I was right all along!

gurgle gurgle.

So, do you think the Nashville Songwriter's Association will give me an award?

Holidays are Different

Holidays are different this time around.

In college, when you return from a visit to see family over a holiday weekend, the stress of the time you've lost hits you like a sack of bricks the moment you step back on campus. Inevitably, no matter how much you love your family, some small part of you winds up hating the way you never get any work done while you're home.

It took me three years of college before I found a way to go home for a long weekend and still get something productive done. It was only in my final year of college that my mother and I learned to grade together, since we often both had assignments that could not wait to be finished during the week.

The reason for this clash is that our professors always assign projects to be due shortly after holiday breaks. This is good for them (it clears their schedule in the holiday period leading up to the due project/test) and bad for us (it means we usually return home burdened and stressed, seemingly weighed down by even more assigned work than usual). But it isn't their fault, the system simply is designed to encourage that kind of behaviour. Our university schedule is a result of our university culture, and our culture is not family-centric, and perhaps we shouldn't expect it to be.

After I graduated (Class of 2004) I spent 18 months on hiatus from my 'real life', first traveling, then tending bar, then traveling again. I tended bar for a restaurant called Gator's (trivia: dinner menu available here) between August 2004 and March 2005. I don't remember any of the holidays from that year because there is nothing unique about them. I worked the day before Thanksgiving and the day after. I worked the day before Christmas and New Years Eve. When you work 6 days a week every week the days blend together and a single day off doesn't have a profound effect on your memory.

And of course, in the restaurant business there are no take home assignments. There is no 'project deadline' that means you might be taking work with you over the break. So your holidays are shorter and less unique, but to me it didn't matter as much because my daily schedule was so much less stressful. I used to say that after University life, the restaurant job felt like being on vacation every second I wasn't at work.

This year marks my first holiday season working a white-collar (engineering) job. My schedule is different in that I got 4 days off, far more than I ever had when I worked at Gator's, and my lifestyle is different in that I didn't take any work with me over the holiday. There's no test I have to take on Monday morning, and on Tuesday I won't be turning in a 10 page paper or massive team project.

Therefore the holiday seems both more pleasant and more empty. After all those years of busting my ass (or at least stressing about how I should be busting my ass) to get something done while my family cavorted around me in its normal chaotic manner, the resultant calm during this holiday weekend has been almost eerie.

Holidays are different this time around.

Pushing on the edges.

Pushing on the edges of a little empty box,
feeling like a vagrant with an ugly little fox
nipping at my heels his voice always mocks
the way you wear that hair in those curly golden locks.

Not sure where that came from. Wasn't really paying attention, just typing while considering recent events.

I'm about to "go under" for up to 7 months. If you don't hear from me, that might be why. In the meantime, in the wake of some commentary from an old friend of mine, I'm thinking of re-inventing my disclaimer and introduction page, maybe something more simple like "nothing you read here is true, ever" or "hide the women!" =D

(Yes, I believe this marks the first time I've used an Emoticon in AiW, ever. I'm so ashamed. . .)

I'll be back, worry not, time always renews,
every moment that I'm gone, I'll think of you.

In other news, Lessons and Carol's is next weekend! w007!

I'm thinking of reading Othello this weekend. . .

. . .for inspiration.

Drifting Away from Home.

Like a spar lost on the waves.
Edges cutting deep patterns in salt-laced skin.

thirty days at sea,
scaring off the seagulls and clinging tight to life,

The shark has been circling since the third day now.

He wants to pick a fight, but he's afraid to do it on my terms, he knows he just might lose.

He's been letting the weather get the better of me,
but one storm behind, another on the calendar ain't much for fright effect.

I've been feeding him the seagulls that come too close. Lacing each one with a little more cyanide.

Perhaps I'll show that shark a thing or two yet.

Don't fuck with a man at sea.

The MTS travesty.

It isn't every day that I get to write "Fuck you right in the ear, Mercer University!"

But I got that chance today.

So color me displeased. The motivation for my displeasure can be found at my Xanga placeholder, since that's where the most Mercer students will see it.

If you're a Mercer student, skip whatever meeting you have tomorrow and show up in Willingham 203 at 10AM. MTS deserves your support.

The Scariest Thing You'll Read Today

Consider the following quote:

"I said something to the effect that 'If this were Northern Ireland, I would understand,'" McPhee said. "And the police officer said, 'Ma'am, I'll pretend I didn't hear that, or otherwise I would have to arrest you.' After that, I didn't say anything."

Now consider that McPhee is a female nun.

Read on if you like having your skin crawl as you consider your rights being drained from you like blood being sucked by a vampire bat.

The New No Fly List: your Tax dollars hard at work keeping nuns from getting where they should be since 2001

Just Got Paid Today. . .

". . .Got me a pocket full of change."

It's a funny way of saying it, isn't it?

Stop and think for a moment. Forget about change-as-coin and think about change-as-concept.

A pocket full of change.

I was born my papa’s son,
When I hit the ground I was on the run.
I had one glad hand and the other behind.
You can have yours, just give me mine.
When the houd dog barkin’ in the black of the night,
Stick my hand in my pocket, everything’s all right.

Maybe money is power because money lets us modify things. Money lets us do things we'd otherwise have to give up. Money lets us alter circumstances and shift fates.

Money lets us change things.

I just got paid today,
Got me a pocket full of change.
Said, black sheep, black, do you got some wool?
Yes, I do, man, my bag is full.
It’s the root of evil and you know the rest
But it’s way ahead of what’s second best.

Perhaps no moment is more precious than the moment when we choose to put our money to use creating positive change.

Is there any more noble purpose in life? Perhaps not.

I just got paid today. . .
Got me a pocket full of change. . .

ZZ Top - Just Got Paid

The Dialogues of Gypsies

"Ready to get off this heap, back to civilized life?"

"I, uh. . . I don't know."

"Good answer."

"If I were really hitting on you, you'd be swooning by now."

I was conversing with a (jailbait) aquaintance/friend of mine tonight, and the quote above came unbidden out of my mouth in response to a comment she made.

I think this is my new motto. I need it printed on a T-shirt or something.

"Now does that seem right to you?"

I just watched the last episode in the Firefly season.

This is my second full run-through of the series, and I picked up a great deal that I didn't the first time around.

I checked the statistics tonight, and found out that Serenity has grossed just over 25 million dollars to date, and will probably be completely out of theaters by next week or the one following. It cost about 39 million to make. Typically a studio earns about 55% of gross, so Universal is soaking up a 25 million dollar hit on Serenity right now. It is a pity, because this is some of the smartest Sci-Fi that we've had available to us in three decades, and we are kindof letting it die.

Unless the movie breaks records in DVD wide release, I think this might spell the end for our beloved Firefly. Now, I fully intend to purchase the DVD, and I hope that all you other loyal fans plan the same. Perhaps if it recoups enough they'll float it as a miniseries for the Sci-Fi channel or something. We can only hope.

It looks like our girl might not be crawling much more. Might be comin' nigh on time to carry her.

Good bugs, Bad Bugs.

So, imagine you're watching the aforementioned Firefly.

Imagine the room is nice and dark, the only illumination coming from the image being cast on the aforementioned seven foot screen.

You come to a calmer part in one of your favorite episodes, let us imagine Jaynestown is that episode.

Now lets say, that hypothetically, it's about 12:30AM.

And you get thirsty, so let's just propose that you reach for your glass of nice cool water on the floor next to your futon. And let's pretend that when you bring it up to about waist level you suddenly realize that something is scrambling about on your hand. and that object feels almost the size and weight of a mouse, except that it has no fur, and too many legs.

Now imagine that the object, in the time it takes you to realize this, moves to the inside of your wrist and seems to be considering climbing up your arm.

What is your reaction?

If you're me, you apparently have two.

Inside my head, there is a 'me' that I imagine when I visualize and process this scenario. And when this happens I shriek at the top of my lungs and violently shake my entire body and arm, hurling my half-full water glass across the room in a simulation of a violent siezure. This version of me scares the living shit out of my roommate, and causes my newly aquired creature-from-hell to sling in some random direction into the darkened room.

As it turns out, in real life, I calmly set my water glass down, then flick my wrist without making a sound to dislodge the creature. Thereafter, as my brain is quietly gibbering 'therewasaroachonmeohmyword' and cowering in a corner of my psyche, the rest of me goes on regardless. I make a disgruntled remark to my roommate, strike the futon to cause my tiny assailant to scurry across the open floor, and then smite it mercilessly with a shoe. And I do mean "smite" in every sense of the word--I only hit it once, yet I managed to disconnect most of the little bastard's legs with the fury of the blow, and permanently fuse a significant portion of his bodily fluids with our carpet.

I have NO IDEA how I remain this calm through such a creepifying sensation. My skin still crawls (har har) just thinking about it, and I feel like I need a shower, even though I already washed my hands up to the elbows.

Twice.

[shivers] In any case, if this blog had a "mood" tag, it would read "BLECH!"