Welcome to the USSA.

Remember how we thought we were better than the Russians because we could cross borders without papers, keep an eye on our government's activity, and say whatever we wanted?

Yeah. . .about. those. things.

Sorry.

You get a new post soon. . .

. . .but for now, another "Patrick is crushing on Violet Blue" moment.

This is the way we should talk about sex toys.

(watch the embedded video--it's a beautiful thing).

There are no naked people anywhere in the video, and there aren't any sex noises either. . .still, you boss might frown on walking up behind you while you're watching two women chat about the benefits of the rippler.

Then again, it might just be on account of the blow dealt to his self confidence.

A flash in the pan.

Sometimes we lash out.

The best of us, the ones with sharp wits and gilded tongues
wage war with the impatience and inequality in our lives.

Each time we feel mistreated the temptation is so strong
to open up a wound with a word.

We want to cut so deeply that we're finally heard.

Filigree and lace are the blessings of life, easily cut and not easily repaired.
Yet in a caustic moment of self-righteous idiocy they are torn or tarnished.

We mean so little malice, but we only want them to notice us.

We are the plain canvas that strains to move a ship, we are the simple metal locks that keep the evil from your home.

We are the functional creatures of the world, and with our great purposes and strong bodies come fierce understandings and proud ways.

Sometimes all we need to know is that the more decorative among you remember this--your lifestyles are borne on our backs. When we feel forgotten the temptation is strong to turn our thoughts to evil purposes--to hurt, to justify, to subjugate.

Would that we could be forgiven as quickly and as deeply as the damage itself is done.

Healing is a slow process.

BHWUHAHAHAHAahahaha

FIXED WIDTH!

*wipes tears from eyes*.

I was going to post something insightful. . .

But I found this link saved as a draft and thought it was funny and worth posting, so in place of my normal pontification:

Ladies hate the voice of reason!