embracing the end of my charmed life

I'm back from Florida.

Life is different now.

"I have the sense to recognize, that I don't know how to let you go."

Two days from today. Less than 48 hours from this moment, it all comes to an abrupt but fitting end. The beleagured anti-hero gets the reward he doesn't deserve and fades quietly into the crowd. No magical ride off into the sunset. No beautiful girl by his side. No grand plan or huge ambition. Just the quiet shame of mediocrity and the knowledge that I abandoned the one thing that made me different from everyone else.

And the lights will fade.

And I'll be normal. Perhaps for the first time ever.

I'm not comfortable living in normality. It will make me squirm.

But the lights will stay dim. The discomfort will fade. I will slowly accept my fate and swallow the pride I no longer deserve.

I will not keep my head up. Why should I?

say goodnight, Patrick.

and now, if you'll excuse me, I have some e-mails to return.