Here's to Charles Schulz

I am getting better at being me. I think.

I don't fall down now, or touch the ground nearly as much in first gear (more on that later, maybe). And the work I do is much improved, as is the money I make doing it.

And tonight I'll have a trainee! Our new (very attractive, but blonde. Damn!) server and stand-in bartender. So I'll actually have a pretty easy Friday night of it. The downside of course is that I won't make as much money. The upside is that we'll probably make better tips (here's hoping).

But in any case, life is getting better. I feel like each time I really think about where I'm going and what I'm doing, it feels a little less wrong somehow. Maybe I'm just getting comfortable with wrongness? But just perhaps, things really are getting better.

That would be a nice change.

I'm reminded of my favorite Peanuts comic ever. Linus and Charlie are leaning on the wall, talking, and Linus says "Well, Charlie Brown, in the game of life, you win some, and you lose some."

And Charlie says "Really?!" and he gets this really dreamy hopeful look in his eyes and says "Gee, that'd be nice. . ."

It makes me smile. Sure it's pathetic and wistful, but it's a smile nonetheless. And beneath all the bravado and the gusto and the attitude and the loud abrasive laughter. . . I still feel like Charlie Brown a lot of the time. The little loser kid who never really succeeded at anything, but kept trying anyway because. . . well, that's what you're supposed to do, right?

So, well, here's to Charles Schulz. One of the great believers of our time. A man who, through the stories of a boy and his dog, taught me that hope doesn't always have to be rewarded to be worth keeping it alive.

God bless you Charles.