I found your diary. And I don't want to read it.

For my ex-Kawaii Girl: You left it open, but I promised I wouldn't. And that's reason one.

But more importantly: I want you to move on with your life, and I think you have. And it's probably better if you don't think about looking over your shoulder, even if I keep looking over mine.

In any case, skimming made me realize I didn't want what I once thought I needed. Full disclosure wouldn't have been what I once hoped it would be.

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For the rest of my readership:

T.J. Maxx and Calvin Klein.

First, let me say this, T.J. Maxx is an awful, tasteless store. Taken universally, wall to wall, front to back, it's only one step up from a flea market in my estimation of class establishments.

Something about going in there makes me feel like I'm denegrating myself from a young up-and-comer with a nice job and a sweet pair of wheels to a white-trash reject with no future. I can't explain it more than that.

BUT, taken individually, in parsels, when you're looking for a handful of specific things, T.J. Maxx is badass. Great deals on clothes that fit, and fit well, and look good. Example: A pair of eckõ unitd jeans for $22 that fit great and actually look decent on me.

So, because of the way I shop (for items and look first, and 'fashion' and location second) I find that it's the perfect store for me. The kind of place where a cost-concious person who is trying to be responsible and have good taste can buy clothes that set them apart (in a good way) without wasting money and time in the teen-traps in the mall that scramble to force every young person into the same style molds in 3 month blocks so they can meet each Quarter Earnings amount.

This is an unsettling combination for me.

More unsettling is that I now own a pair of C.K. jeans. I've never been a fan of C.K. It seems to be mostly the wear of yuppies with too much money trying to look younger than they are when they go out on the weekends, or young poseurs shopping on Daddie's credit card who want a status symbol on their ass.

But I was in T.J. Maxx (see above) and found a pair for $16.00. So I figured, "what the hell. I need a pair of jeans, I'll try 'em on." I expected to be dissapointed, because Tommy Hilfiger gear looks (and feels) terrible on me, and I figured CK would as well.

Quite the opposite. It was like they had been tailored exclusively for me. So not only do I shop at T.J. Maxx, but I own and wear C.K. clothing now!

I feel like I'm failing all the standards tests I would have subjected myself to 4 years ago. Ohwell.