Obligatory Monty Python: "I feel much better!"

I've been sick since Monday. I think it was some sort of tonsillitis, as my tonsils were swollen, I ran a fever, and I was tired and sore but there were no other symptoms.

People called to see how I was doing, and that was nice of them. I've had to postpone my trip to see my nephew till Veteran's day weekend though, which makes me sad.

In other news, I now have a line of credit with a department store. . . and a pumpkin pie.

Let's be clear: I like pumpkin pie--when it is made at home, by someone I know. when I can sneak into the kitchen at 3AM on a Saturday morning and steal a slice from the half that remains and watch old episodes of Star Trek - the original series, I'm on cloud nine.

However, commercially manufactured pumpkin pie is a different beast, somewhat akin to other American "necessary" evils like frozen dinners and overproduced pop stars. I'm not a fan.

Last weekend, my wallet was stolen. This was less of an inconvenience than you might think, shockingly. However, among one of many cards in it that I had to replace was my Sam's club membership card.

Now, there has been some priority-one shit going down at the office, so, despite the fact that I was sick, and finding myself unable to sleep on Thursday morning, I headed into the office at 6:15 and left at 9:45 after seeing to the Emergency grade stuff that needed my attention.

Intending to come home and sleep away the rest of the day, I swung by Sam's club on the way home to replace the aforementioned card of membership.

When I arrived around 10:30, I had already been awake for six hours or so, and my fever was doing a number on my sinuses (and therefore my hearing) and my will to do anything more than the bare minimum of effort.

So I go up to the lady at the Sam's counter, and ask about replacing my card.

She starts the process and asks me if I would like a line of credit added to my membership card. I decline out of habit, before she can even get through the entire spiel about how if you sign up right now you get some free gift that I don't quite make out.

Then my mind (which is still in second gear and trying to coast downhill at this point) recalls that I was encouraged to open a dept. store line of credit to increase my credit score. As my logical brain is realizing this, my social brain is asking her what the free thing was that I couldn't make out.

So as I'm shoving my instincts to the back of my mind to sign away another sliver of my life she explains that the free gift is a pumpkin pie.

My logical brain is already swapping places with my social one, so now my social brain is accepting her offer and asking her for a pen while my logical brain is shouting:

Wtf? Who wants a pumpkin pie with a line of credit? This is like giving someone a complimentary bathrobe if they buy a Pickup truck!

So as a result of the timing and how out-of-it I was on Thursday morning, I'm pretty sure there is a Sam's club employee in Macon, Georgia who is convinced that I added a line of credit to my membership so that I could get a free pumpkin pie.

Meanwhile, the pie sits on my kitchen counter, unopened. I'm hoping my roommate and his friends will consume it tonight.

Friday, October 19, 2007