Reaching new lows!

"I was so unique. . .
Now I feel skin deep."

So I went out to lunch today with an attractive young lady, and we chatted mainly about relationships and dating. Which, of course, as you all know, are not topics on which I express the highest praise for humanity.

Ok, at times my criticism became even more bitter than standard. It got to the point where she told me (and I believe she was quite serious in this statement) "Y'know, listening to you talk, I'm just not even sure if I want to go back to dating at all."

I sat in silence for a moment and pointed out that I had done something amazing. I think there should be an award in it for me, somewhere along the line.

I mean, people manage to turn others off to dating themselves every day, but to turn someone off to dating altogether? That is a new low in starting off a relationship. I mean, damn!

So appearantly I've become even more bitter and cynical than I realized. I think it has something to do with being alone. But I like being alone. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

Now that I have the luxury of being honest about it, I can admit that when I sleep, regardless of the size of the bed or the number of pillows by which I am surrounded I no longer pull one of them to me and cradle it as I would someone for whom I cared. I simply drift off to sleep.

I'm becoming more and more aclimated to my loneliness.

And certainly being so vitriolically pessimistic that I manage to turn other people off to the entire process of dating is probably not going to help change that.

(sigh).