Resolutions?

Did you hear about the computer monitor's New Year's Resolution?

. . .

It was 1024x768!

(har!)

So, with the horrible joking aside, yes, I'll admit that I failed at finding any place to go, came back here, and decided to drink a bit, play some games, and maybe watch a movie.

I also decided to post some resolutions here. After all, maybe knowing that a bunch of faceless strangers know I promised to do something will make me more likely to do it.

So, my New Year's Resolutions. And to keep things interesting, each one will be counter-balanced to my fantasy resolution.

To get an idea of what I mean, compare:

Res: Be nicer to people.
Fantasy Res: Kick fewer peasants.

Got it?

Ok, and away we go!

Resolution: Gain 10 lbs (I'm very skinny right now, and I need some of my muscle mass back).

Fantasy Resolution: Gain 2 inches. I may be above average, but a little extra never hurt.

[Editor's Note: "I think I just recieved an e-mail promising this, actually."]

Resolution: Start running and keep it up regularly enough that I can start and maintain a 2 mile run at any time.

Fantasy Resolution: Work up to 2 mile windsprints, daily.

Resolution: Start training again. Nothing serious, mainly focusing on power generation and conditiong, with a heavier focus on brutality and a lighter focus on bullshit.

Fantasy Resolution: Wander the streets seeking out and suppressing violent crime using my blend of martial arts and an arsenal of technological weapons and toys.

Resolution: Eat more healthy food (raw veggies, etc.).

Fantasy Resolution: cut sugar out of my diet completely.

Resolution: Become a connoisseur of all things bar related. Become aquianted with all the drinks I can make and expand my knowledge of both wines and cocktails.

Fantasy Resolution: Drink more alchoholic beverages.

[Editor's note: "Hey, SWEET!"]

Resolution: Find a woman that I can understand, love, and trust.

Fantasy Resolution: Find a woman that I can understand, love, and trust.

[Editor's Note: Hey, admit it, you know it's true.]

Resolution: Become more respectable both at work and in my social circles.

Fantasy Resolution: Develop and become known for my incredible sexual prowess until the money offered becomes so good that I have no choice but to abandon my principles and become a billionare world-traveling gigolo.

Resolution: Be working somewhere outside of the United States before my next birthday.

Fantasy Resolution: Win the lottery and spend a half a decade traveling the world for fun.

Ok, so there ya go. Now I can go about failing with at least half of those without feeling too bad about it.