New York notes IV

New York Notes, continued.

Tuesday, the 9th.

I'm missing bible study right now.

[Inconsistent or innattentive] leadership [troubles] me on a fundemental level. Tell people what to do, lead by example, or let them make their own choices. Don't try to manipulate them into making your choices the way you want them made.

[Voice of temperance and hindsight: He's young yet though. He'll learn.]

Wow. The light pollution here is astounding. It is approximately 11PM and overcast, and I'm writing this sitting outside on [the rooftop of our hotel] with no light sources from this building at all, but the ambient light makes it clear enough to see to write.

[So anyway,] Bible study: We rushed to be back in time from stomp, (which was awesome, by the way), for the 10:30 meeting, everybody else ([including some of the leaders]) showed up around 10:45ish and then tried to start the meeting before [the people in my group] from stomp even had a chance to eat. GRRR! I [don't have enough] patience for leaders who aren't sensitive to the needs of their cares (charges, kids, whatever you want to call 'em).

I am waiting until I cool down enough before I go back inside and since its about 40 degrees out here I'm expecting that will be soon. They are the leaders and I'm willing to listen and learn, or at least I should be.

and I MISS MY LYNDSEY.

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11:50, same evening.

I moved back inside and I'm sitting on the floor in the hall. It'll be better if I don't reenter. It keeps me from disturbing the meeting again and from attempting to influence or sway anyone during the meeting.

I've done enough of that already. God knows his will.

[deletia, a prayer] I can hear [a friend] speaking right now and I wish I could hear her devotion. I'll try and ask her about it.

"Oh God, let us be a generation that Seeks."

[Edited versions of the musings to God]

I know things will be done in according with [God's] will.

Or do I? I believe there are some behind this door who seek [God's] will. Several, Perhaps. And I believe that it is up to God's servants to seek His will or it will not be made completely manifest.

[Ed. Note: Isn't this called the spirit of practical Athiesm? I'm not sure.]

Will I be strong enough to listen and follow?

Or is it wise enough to listen, and strong enough to follow?

Will they? I hope so.